Passage: Six
How many hypochondriacs are there? Can anybody- in the great socialscience industry tell me? Even to the nearest ten thousand?
I doubt it, and I think Iknow why. The trouble about being a hypochondriac (and I speak from a lifetimeof practice) is that you feel silly-.
qty rational mind tells me that, just because the cut on my forger hasbeen throbbing for two days, I am unlikely to die of gangrene; but in a hypochondrraaclmood I can sec the gangrene creeping up my arm as my finger turns black. My hypochondriais fed, in constant doses, by half the scientific knowledge I need, and twicethe imagination. I know enough anatomy to identity the twitch in my chest asthe first spasm of coronary llirombosis(ie-ilkO U.K tylrr'' Ti~), and to pointto my duodenum (+-4V_*) with the authority of a second-year medical student.
Of course, like many hypochondriacs. I er~joy (not exactly the word)sound health. My fat mc&al file contanu very Wile of substance. thoughthere is a fine selection of nrgatirv barium meal tests. In fact, the onlySpell I cvrr had in hospital took place when I actually- had something. 1Lhat Ithought was a cold turned out to be pneumonia. So much for my diagnosticaccuracy.
Ilypochondria lies between the rational self which says, `Nonsense, you'refine,' and the deeply pessimistic self, which fingers a swelling discoveredunder the jaw as you shave and converts it into the first lump of a fatalcancer of the lymph gland.
'llicse feelings areembarrassing enough but they are made worse by the brisk treatment I get fromthe many overt anti-hypochondriacs about: people like wives or editors, whosay, `Get up! There's nothing wrong with you', or `Never seen you lookingbetter, old boy', when the first stages of a brain tumour have begun to paralysemy left aim.
Such persons know nothing. They are capable of astonishing, acts ofself fiargetfulncm. They walk about with lips so chapped that a penny could fitin the cracks. 'Ilicy go so far as to forget to take medicine prescribed forthem. For these creatures of the light, die world is a simple place. You areeither well or sick and that's that, categories, which admit of no confusion.'if you are ill,' anti-hypochondriacs say, `you ought to go to bed and stop moping.'They remind me of the story told of the economist, Keynes, a'ld his Russian ballerinawife, staring silently into the fire. Keynes asked, `What are you thinking, mydear?' She replied, `Nothing.' And he said, I wish I could do that.'
There is not much comfort to be had from other hypochondriacs, either.I had lunch once with a distinguished writer whom I very much wanted to impress.H greeted me with the words, `Please excuse the condition of my nose.' Duringthe next few minutes, fascinated but trying not to be caught staring, I establishedtwo things: fast, that he had a small inflammation by his right nostril, and second,that he was a fellow hypochondriac. The combination meant that I could have beenthree other people for all he cared. As we parted, he again apologized abouthis nose. I was furious.
96. The author suggests that the exactnumber of hypochondriacs is not known because hypochondriacs
a) Are not taken seriously by socialscientists B) feet tooembarrassed about their fears to admit them
C) Don’t take their fears seriously enoughto discuss them D) are aware thatthey represent a tiny minority
97. The author describes how his ownhypochondria can be set off by
A) Readingarticles in medical journals B) noticing unusual physical sensations
C) Studying his personal medical files D) asking for advice from studentdoctors
98. The author's medical history suggeststhat
A) He has never had any serious illnesses B) his diagnoses have sometimes proved correct
C) He has had very few medical examinations D) most of his fears have provedgroundless
99. Anti-hypochondriacs are described aspeople who
A) Pay no attention to minor ailments B) don't accept that people get ill
C) Have little faith in the medicalprofession D) smile cheerfullyhowever ill they are
100. The author recognized afellow-hypochondriac by the I'M that
a) The conversation centered around thewriter's health B) the writer was sosympathetic towards him
C) A minor complaint so concerned thewriter D) the writer seemed towant attention from more people
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